Packing, packing, packing

I'm going through all my stuff and sorting it into categories. There are the obvious ones: Give Away, Throw Away, and Pack... but then there are so many items that fall into grey areas. Like CDs that I will never listen to again. No bookstore will buy them back because they are crappy CDs I liked when I was in high school, and I just can't feel good about throwing them away when I think about all the junk sitting in landfills that will never break down... we are such materialistic people.

If it could all just accidentally burn up and be gone I would be so relieved. Seriously, though, those CDs. Giving them to Good Will is an option, but I know that's the easy way out for greedy consumers like me. I can just dump all my half-used junk somewhere and never have to think about it again, assuming that not only will some deprived person be delighted to find it at a reasonable price and take it home and treasure it, but the proceeds will go to benefit more deprived people. Wow, I am such a good person for getting rid of my stuff!

I wish I could go back and rethink things, even small purchases, and be more deliberate about what I choose to have and carry with me and look after. Sometimes I wish that I lived in a time when plastic didn't exist and lives were fueled on muscle and grain and sunshine rather than petroleum. What's ironic is that I'm about to live in a pace that's fueled by muscle and grain and a LOT of sunshine... we'll see how that goes for me. I may have to eat my words.

What I find simultaneously interesting and depressing as I go through my stuff is that I have to come to terms with so many "I'll never..."s. Like this nearly finished scarf I found. I guess I'll never be into knitting. No one at Good Will is going to want to wear this lopsided crazy thing, so what do I do with it? I guess I'll never make another stained-glass window. I have a box full of nice glass, in lovely colors, that CANNOT go into a recycle bin (that would be evil!)... Catherine suggested I put it on Craigslist, and I like that idea.

I've also dug up a lot of old photos and notes and letters, which I'm glad I saved. Even if the only time I look at them and reminisce is when I'm transitioning and putting them into new boxes.

Anyway, if you are reading this you can pat yourself on the back for being a truly supportive friend. I'm not even gone yet, so I don't really have anything valid to tell you, but I still feel like I should document this odd phase I'm in. Even if I'm the only one who will go back and read it, someday, when I'm transitioning elsewhere.

I'll miss you soon if I don't already,
Janna